Perplex.

Today I rushed over to the beach gym and wanted to take Doris Yoga class. It is at 8 AM so I rushed as fast as I could only to find, that it was packed. I hate low ceiling rooms and packed. It is not good. Well, there was a little space between the water fountain and the bikes...I did not have time to get a mat, but ended up finding a comfy place. For the first time in all my YOGA experience, I was not the only chubby girl there. There was one just as fluffy as me right in front of me. It was okay, except that she was right lass="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">infront and directly infront of the instructor's view. So it is not that I was trying to see her all the time...It might have come across as this, but I was trying to see Doris to get the poses. I was also on view in the mirror. I TRY TO AVOID THIS AT ALL COSTS. I just don't like seeing me the way I look. Sadly, they are always telling us, check your form...bla bla bla...especially with Pilate's and Yoga, since it is in a GYM setting, they say it is a lot more beneficial than in their STUDIOS, because there is a lot of mirror area in this gym setting. So I was forced to see my poses at times, and the glimpse of me looking at me, was horrid. Well, it is not that bad, except that I AM FAT. I know I am, but one thing is to know it, and another one is to see it. The pose that bothers me the most is that when you sit with your legs straight and you at a 90 degree angle, you have to sit as tall as you can, and that is when you see...how much extra stuff I have. It was disgraceful! I think I want to do protein days right away. I have been having a hard time starting my 10 week program...and the best is to start with the 3 protein days...but I am feeling and being d="SPELLING_ERROR_6">sooo REBELLIOUS, that just looking at it, makes me want to do it. So Yoga went by and then I proceeded to go walking. I ended up walking 4.0 speed for 1 hour. I walked 4 miles and for the first time in a threadmill, I RAN. I RAN. I RAN. I RAN. I RAN. Yes, 5 times I ran for 2 minutes at 4.6. This was major for me, in that I don't think I can run. I don't like the feeling, specially of my butt going up and down. OHHH MY! I just feel my breath goes array and I am dying. So all in all, I was impressed with the tiredness of this work out. I was soooooo READY for the STEAM ROOM. It was soo good, that I ended up staying in there for 30 min.

I feel proud of myself for pushing me a little bit more. I think this is the way I should go. In class, I am trying to do better and follow everything trying to not quit by number 8 instead of all 10...but here I was pushing myself by myself. Impressive. Maybe I can do this more often.