Thursday my favorite day

I just love this day. I was ready to go and do weights. I think I love the instructor too. She is petite and soo in shape and has muscles like I wish I did. She is fantastic and I love her style. So I weighed and then relaxed kind of doing Pilate's ala Doris, that is her name, she is my age, and sadly I don't have anything to show for it--physically speaking. Except a posture that I have developed over the last 3 months, and kind of like strings holding my head back, my shoulders, and my back. It is wonderful she plays music to her class and gives options as what to do if the exercise is too hard. Then the coveted time at the steam. Sooo relaxing. I think though, that time is coming where I have not overlapped the eating part with the exercise part and this is when I start thinking of all the reasons why I am not making any progress and starting to feel sorry for myself. I am smart enough now to see and recognize the cycle. I am not going to get pushed into feeling my worth by how I look. True, seriously, there are very few fat girls in the gym. I can probably count them with my fingers and toes. Nevertheless, I won't see any results if I DO NOT EAT RIGHT. PERIOD. I must come to terms with this, because this is what is causing all the problems. Or the problem. Not ready to talk about this, but the fact of the matter is that the more I am trying to commit to this, the more resistance I am finding from no other than my BRAIN helped and in cahoots with my mouth. So there. Thursday was glorious in that I am liking the exercise part and I am not doing it begrudging so...